Well, it's been a HELLUVA long time since our last post. Why's that then? Personally, I blame the uncertainty over the Labour leadership. That and the unseasonably good weather. And Mohammad Sidique Khan. He definitely has something to do with it.

The news is mixed; after a very long development period, we are finally getting somewhere with the TV version of "Conspiracy", and have a readthrough in front of "Les Fromages Grandes" this week. Fingers crossed.

Elsewhere in TV land, we're recording some new sketches for ITV's Comedy Cuts - and also you can currently see us on Paramount Comedy in a series of sketches we recorded for them at the end of last year. Visit http://www.paramountcomedy.com/shortcuts to see them...

In other news, you can hear Rufus and Jim in the second series of "Deep Trouble" (written by Jim, with Ben Willbond), which starts on May 24th on BBC Radio 4. Steve will soon be appearing in the second series of Hyperdrive, which is airing shortly on BBC, and Dan "Renton" Skinner has been preparing for his excellent two-man Edinburgh show "Classic Entertainment", alongside Tom Verrall. Rufus has been filming Lead Balloon amongst other things, and Jim has been directing various bits and pieces and appearing in a couple of pilots.

That's all the news for now.

Just returned from four very enjoyable days in Northern Ireland, where we were performing at the Grand Opera House as guests of the Belfast Festival. We had some of the sharpest and warmest audiences we have ever performed to, and were able to spend the days exploring a fascinating city which we would otherwise have little reason to visit.

One word of caution though: if you ever find yourself in Belfast, staying at the Days Inn near Sandy Row, hold your breath as you run through the lobby to the escalators. The whole place stinks of sh*t.

For your entertainment, here's a little Q&A that appeared in the Belfast Telegraph:

Introduce yourself in no more than 40 words.
Ooh, where to start? We're a comedy group called Dutch Elm Conservatoire. There's five of us and we're all white, but we do all have different ages, haircuts and STDs. Can we come back to yours for coffee?

It's cold outside and there's something I'd like to watch on the box ... so why should I head out to your gig?
Firstly, don't let the cold put you off: there are five of us on stage, so we'll be radiating quite a lot of bodily warmth. Secondly, we've just finished a very successful four-week run at the recent Edinburgh Fringe Festival, so this ain't no gamble, my friend. And, thirdly, having checked the TV listings, it looks like it's us or Ross Kemp On Gangs on Sky 3. You do the math.

Tell us something really surprising about yourself?
One of us, Renton, has the name of the late actor Richard Harris tattooed on his upper arm. He also used to work as a cab driver, and once picked up Gene Pitney. Not that surprising in itself, but Gene talked Renton through his complicated gym workout routine, and it was certainly surprising to learn how much he could bench-press.

In this order, your favourite book, film and CD.
The Wild Geese; The Wild Geese; and The Wild Geese soundtrack (Joan Armatrading).

Strictly Come Dancing or The X Factor - and why?
Strictly Come Dancing got Brucie (Forsyth) back off the streets, so in many ways it has served a social purpose. However, X Factor brought us The Unconventionals - a six-piece middle-aged band that looked like they'd met at a suburban orgy. And for that joyful entertainment, we will always be grateful.

Kylie or Madonna - and why?
Madonna and us have always had a rocky relationship, we're sure she'd be the first to admit that. But since she adopted that small African boy we've really warmed to her. However, what she sees in Guy Ritchie we'll never fathom. She could go out with anyone she wants: Matt Dillon, Rory Bremner, Eddie Murphy ... but, no, she chooses to spend her time with that guy. The Lord alone knows.

The world will end in seven days - how will you spend your last week?
Watching six series of 24 on DVD, plus 24 hours of bonus features.

And, finally, what event (excluding your own, of course) do you really want to get to at this year's Festival?
We'd like to catch Mitchell and Webb and Andrew Maxwell. Other than that, we really want to see The Gipsy Kings. Not only are they the soundtrack to our lives, but they once rented us a static caravan in Anglesey.

Gigs this coming week in LONDON & BELFAST have meant a last minute spree of rehearsals as we get the show back up and running again.

You can see the show on Tuesday night in London at the Hen & Chickens theatre, at 9:30pm - for more info visit http://www.henandchickens.com - and then from Thursday to Saturday at the Grand Opera House in Belfast, where we are guests of the Magners Comedy programme at the Belfast Festival. For more info visit http://www.belfastfestival.com

So we're back from Edinburgh... largely in one piece. We think the props and costumes made it back too, but no-one has actually seen them yet, so that's still in the balance.

We had a good month back at the Pleasance again, with our new show PRISON - you can see some of our reviews and things on our official website (click the link on the right hand column). Our next commitment with this show is the Belfast Festival in November, where we'll be playing three nights at the Grand Opera House. Again, visit our website for more information.

We're now busy developing our TV pilot script of last year's show, CONSPIRACY, with the lovely folk at Celador - although these things always take much more time than you can ever perceive. It's quite exciting nonetheless, and we're hoping to get things moving in the next few months. Watch this space...

The only other news of note is the amicable departure of Jordan Long after four years with Dutch Elm. So we've now slimmed down from the Famous Five to the Fantastic Four. The wonderful Jim Howick (of sketch group Plastic Cowboys) will be stepping neatly into Jordan's shoes for the Belfast dates, but after that it's the four of us all the way.

38 days until Edinburgh.

So much to do in so little time. It's a bit like Genesis (the opening chapter of the bible, not the band). Everyone's been so busy with other things, that we haven't really had a proper chance yet to get our teeth into the show.

We've recorded a little promo for the show - you can listen to it here

And there's now a special website for the show, which is here

We start rehearsing in earnest next week with our director Ed, so we've recently been compiling all the detritus that the script asks for - dodgy props, sounds, odd bits of music. Steve is on the hunt for a load of bling for his character, who is a six foot tall black gangster called Furious P. He's the guy we're singing about in the promo. Fortunately Big Jim, the genius behind all of Jeremy Lion's extraodinary props, has agreed to create some of our more complicated things, including a butterfly called Mr Wendel made out of a velvet bowtie.

We think it's going to be a weird and wonderful show - do come along to our previews in London if you can. They're on the Sat 15th and Sun 16th July at the Etcetera Theatre.

Until the next time...

So, we take the first few steps on the long road back to Edinburgh, having only just rolled back down from Arthur's Seat.

We've got a new show afoot - "PRISON" - and we've got to finish writing and rehearsing that. But, as is customary with the Mad Month that is the Fringe, we've had to complete the preposterously early round of photographs and press deadlines. I mean, it's still April, for chrissakes. ISN'T ANYONE THINKING OF THE CHILDREN?

Anyway, apologies for the delay in keeping you updated - much more exciting news to come.

Photographic Evidence

We've now uploaded some photos of our time on the road, and some other shots from the last couple of years. They're hosted in their own special gallery on a website called flickr - you don't need to register or anything boring like that - just click here to see them